So where were we ? Ive told you about how i wasted 15 years of my life being out drinking and clubbing for over 15 years, well lets fast forward to age 35 where it all started to change for me.
I was working for a transport company on nights, 12hr shifts where we did nearly all the work in the first 2/3 hrs and spent the rest of the night playing games and being on facebook while waiting for drivers to come in for de brief. One night i got chatting to a girl i had copped off with on a night out Dj,ing, turned out she was pregnant and bored (she was also the night owl clubbing type) and we got chatting most nights. We met up for a coffee and things just kind of went from there. We were in a relationship, she was 6 months pregnant and not in contact with the farther (he was an idiot and didnt want contact) now i never thought i would ever want anything to do with children, the idea was horrifying and always said it wasnt for me. But here i was in a relationship with a nice girl who was 6 months pregnant, it just felt kind of right ! Which scared me as well as it wasnt me.
I became very attached to the idea of this little baby and just fell into the role with ease, 3 months later i was daddy to a little baby boy. A lot of my friends and even some of my family thought this was a bad idea and asked what was i getting myself into, but it felt right, i don’t know why it just did. Now for the following year i was still part in the scene of clubbing and Dj ing which caused problems obviously. I guess i was scared to let go of my old life and it was routine for me so found it hard to make such a drastic change in such a short amount of time.
:One from just after Luca was born, his mum is in the background. Rare night out together as my Nan came to stay with us.
:Here is a little Luca and myself watching our friend Sean play a few beats to a mixed crowd in a pub garden in the summer.
I finally decided that the old me had to change and this little boy needed a dad he could rely on, i walked away from my old life, m old friends (most were not really friends more just party associates. Now dont get me wrong i had some fantastic dj experiences in the Uk and abroad but i never had any will power to leave the drink and drugs alone. So with that it was time to remember the good times and start a new chapter, i gave my half of the record label to my partner and from there it all died off.
Here i am a new man (well thought i was, it was the start anyway) and it was time to get my shit together, i started a business as was miserable in the job i was in and it was not long before the relationship fell apart. Dilemma time !!! What do i do now ? I have gave up my old life to be this boys dad and the relationship with his mum is gone (reasons i shall not go into on here but we were both to blame ! Not what i said at the time but split ups are never your fault are they :( haha) So i was lost, hurt heart broken and lost in the world with what to do next, i carried on with the business the best i could and found myself a new home and started from scratch again. Now things were hard, new business ment hardly any money coming in, and everytime i spoke with his mother all hell broke loose and we argued. It was the worst year of my life but even though everyone told me to walk away i just couldnt, we even got back together for a couple months but it wasnt working.
WHY WHY WHY ??? Is all i could ask, why would god (if there is one) let this happen, a man who is stuck in a rut of drink and drugs gives it all up to be a dad for it to all fall apart ? But i stuck by, i stuck with the plan of being his dad. I grew up without mine and didnt have a great relationship with my step dad so I wasnt going to be the one who walked away, no chance this is it i am making the decision to dedicate my life to his.
Well, good news. After roughly 12 months or so me and his mum finally started to get along, she had met a guy who was nice and we all got along. These days we get along great, like one big family. But it was that moment that i truelly started to become a proper dad, he came to stay every weekend and he was out of nappies and able to wipe his own bum, he could run and kick a ball and we started to enjoy the outdoor life. Going the woods was a weekend thing, wellies some mud and a big stick and he was happy ! And so was i, for the first time in my life it had a purpose it had a future and it had an unconditional love. Everytime he called me daddy my healt melted a bit.
And that brings us to mounting biking ! Now i didnt really know what mountain biking was but i was soon to find out !!! :) ...... ive just had goosebumps writing that sentence and i am going to jump straight into writing the next chapter ..... Bikes !
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